Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My feet surprised me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
