Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
