Sponge bath it is.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
