dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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