i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize