Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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