Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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