YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize