if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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