i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
