He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
