I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
