For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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