Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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