why didn't you poke me back
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's the barista slut.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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