did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
