ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
