I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
