is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize