Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
