I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
