I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
