Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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