He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
