The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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