no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
