she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
