i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
