So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
did you just send me my own nude
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
