I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
