that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
