careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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