I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
