Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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