Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
