I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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