Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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