Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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