You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
