I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
