I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Randomize
