I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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