But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
