WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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