so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
