Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
