Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
