I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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