I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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