I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
