Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize