you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
