I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
