I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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