Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize