drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
