So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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