So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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